Witness Transcripts
1212-1 Guillaume Stander
Witness Transcript: Guillaume (Guy) Stander
Date: December 12th at 11:14 hours
Transcribed by: Sue Walters
Recorded via police vehicle dashboard audio cam
Sheriff Frost: Hello sir…sir, can you take a step back from the vehicle. Thank you, how can I help you today?
Guillaume: Officer I was the one who called the police and figured I should just let you know what happened.
Sheriff Frost: Wonderful, thank you for giving us a call. Just to let you know, this is being recorded by my vehicle dashboard cam. For the record, can you state your name sir?
Guillaume: Guillaume Stander, well all my friends call me Guy. Anyways, I have been here for a while. I heard some of the commotion over here at the rink and I didn’t pay it too much mind, I usually keep to myself you see. Anyways, something ran away from the ice rink there and dropped something in the snow on its way. It was only a few minutes later that the lady who is responsible for the snowman competition approached the ice rink.
Sheriff Frost: Do you mean the coordinator of annual Snowperson Building Extravaganza, Noelle Smith.
Guillaume: Yeah that’s the one! Anyways, she seemed really interested in talking to someone, anyone really! She wanted to talk about the incident and seemed almost like she was excited that someone had defaced the ice rink boards. That is how I found out about the graffiti, and of course I called 911. While I was on the phone, the news crews arrived, and that Noelle lady couldn’t have been any happier to be in front of that camera. I never really liked that lady, ya know what I mean? Anyways, it was several minutes later and that’s when you drove up and I approached you.
Sheriff Frost: Right, and while I appreciate your cooperation with the police Guy, I am a little surprised that you didn’t wait until I got out of my car to talk to me. What was so pressing, that it just couldn’t wait?
Guillaume: Of course! So as I was saying I saw whatever that thing was drop something and I figured it might be important! I am afraid that I might have ruined the interview between the news lady and that Ms. Smith, but it turns out that it was a sheet of paper that was dropped. I don’t really trust the news outlets either, I was going to just keep the paper to myself until you drove up, and I figured it would be best to give the paper to you.
Sheriff Frost: Well thank you for that Guy. Again, I appreciate you coming forward, but I might get out of the car now and interview some of the other people here.
— End of transcript —
1212-2 Edward Bauer
Witness Transcript: Edward Bauer
Date: December 12th at 11:23 hours
Transcribed by: Sue Walters
Sheriff Frost: This is Sheriff Jack Frost, badge number 4358220, and I am in Sweetglen Memorial Park at the ice rink with Edward Bauer. Eddie, can you tell us what transpired?
Edward: Yeah. We saw the yeti Sheriff! We were playing a little shinny on the rink, and this yeti was suddenly outside close to the walls. Don’t know how long it had been there, really scared me sir, like freaked me out. But it was a yeti, no doubt! I think it freaked Timmy out more, as he started yelling. I think Timmy’s yelling maybe scared it away? Whatever the reason, the thing left in a hurry.
Sheriff Frost: Interesting, we appreciate the statement Eddie.
— End of Transcript —
1212-3 Timothy Hatchet
Witness Transcript: Timothy Hatchet
Date: December 12th at 11:27 hours
Transcribed by: Sue Walters
Sheriff Frost: This is Sheriff Jack Frost, badge number 4358220, and I am in Sweetglen Memorial Park at the ice rink with Timothy Hatchet. Timmy, can you tell us what you saw here today?
Timothy: Gawsh officer. I don’t wanna get in no trouble or get anyone in no trouble. I was scared, I am pretty tiny after all, so I yelled at the thing. Thing startled like a person would, though. Maybe it wasn’t a bigfoot, after all? I think I scared it with my yelling as much as it scared us. Anyways, once me and Eddie calmed down a little bit, we went back to playing hockey, but we kept our eyes open, you know. Dunno, but like, less than 10 minutes later the snowman lady came by and was being interviewed on the news. We were about to get out of here when you showed up and wanted us to talk to you about what we saw.
Sheriff Frost: I am really glad you stuck around, Tim. You may be tiny, but you have a big conscience.
— End of Transcript —
1220-2 Ken Globe
Witness Transcript: Ken Globe
Date: December 20th at 20:13 hours
Transcribed by: Sue Walters
Sheriff Frost: This is Sheriff Jack Frost, badge number 4358220, and I am at Snow World Emporium in Breyer Mall with Ken Globe. Ken, can you tell us what transpired?
Ken: Uh…transpired…uh yeah. Kinda strange to have to open up the shop at 5 pm and not be open, but I opened up and checked the voicemails. That’s, like, the first thing that Carole wants me doing. There was some strange message about the Norsemen…or something like that, and then one from a lady that wanted to know about an extremely rare snow globe. I had to use our caller ID and all, ya know, cause she didn’t leave her number, I am wicked smart like that. When I gave her a call back, I probably spent 25-30 minutes on the phone with her in the back of the store trying to find the globe among all our stock.
Sheriff Frost: So is it customary to leave the front of the store unattended?
Ken: We have the bell you see here (sound of bell dinging several times). Anyways, I tracked the globe down in the back and the lady was, like, super pumped right. Said she would be in just before close tonight to purchase it. So, as we were talking, I kept thinking that I heard stuff in the front of the store, right? But, like, I called out each time and never got a response so, ya know. But as I was finishing with that lady on the phone I thought I heard the sound of breaking glass. I came out front and that is when I saw the bigfoot in the store smashing snow globes.
Sheriff Frost: A bigfoot? Can you describe this bigfoot?
Ken: I didn’t get a great look cause I…well…I kinda yelped a little as it scared me. I must have scared the thing because it ran out of the store, this white bigfoot looking thing. Anyways, I hung up the phone with the lady and yelled out for mall security.
Sheriff Frost: I see, and I did notice from the mall security logs that they came right away, but missed sighting the bigfoot you speak of. Now can you tell me about this document you seem to be creating. What is that all about?
Ken: Yeah, man. So Carole has this super strict way that the snow globes are put out in the front of the store. She knows what globe is in each spot. She told me to write down which snow globes were destroyed before someone messes with the arrangements. Carole figures that most of this is insurable, so she wants me to document everything.
Sheriff Frost: I would love a copy of that! Also, can we get access to those voicemails?
Ken: Probably man…like, I guess you’ll have to ask Carole, but yeah…
— End of Transcript —
1221-1 Deputy Cole D’Nosa
Witness Transcript: Cole D’Nosa
Date: December 21st at 15:47 hours
Transcribed by: Sue Walters
Cole D’Nosa: This is Deputy Cole D’Nosa, badge number 4358949, and I am at the Sweetglen Police Station creating a recorded transcript of my notes from the day. My investigation is far from complete, but sheds some good light on the alibis of our potential suspects.
Notes on suspect Tai Dings – I procured a Mastercard Statement for him and it is confirmed that he purchased a Grande Peppermint Mocha, and a Venti Eggnog Latte. Credit Card Statement: Purchase at Starbucks at 11:55 am.
Notes on suspect Chris Miss – Upon visiting The Gap, the store clerk distinctly remembered a man fitting the description of Chris Miss. She described him as seeming very nervous, or perhaps shy, bringing his purchase to the front. When asked for customer receipts of the day, it was found that Chris Miss made a debit purchase at 11:29 am for boxer brief underwear, flannel design.
Notes on suspect Hanne Ka – Discussion with her camera man confirms that they did, in fact, do a shoot at Carole Ling’s snow globe store at 9:30 am. He parted ways with Hanne at 10:15 am and didn’t see her again until after he had called her about the scoop with the stolen santa suit. They met at the Elf Shoppe at roughly 12:30 pm, he guessed it took her that long to get back to the mall.
Notes on suspect Trey Del – His residence don can confirm that Trey is a remarkably studious student. Impressed at how often she finds him in his room studying. Cannot confirm that Trey was in his room at the time of the incident.
Notes on suspect Sam Boney – A baby blue ‘64 Impala was spotted by several witnesses outside Sam Boney’s garage. Everyone knows that Impala is Sam’s, although there no actual sightings of Sam around the time of the incident.
Notes on suspect Felix Navii-Dad – The Mall Elf can confirm that Felix did leave in the general direction of the washroom as soon as his shift ended at 11:15 am
— End of Transcript —